You are part of an unplanned pregnancy and have questions. You may be confused, frustrated or angry. You are looking for answers. What are your legal rights? What are your options? You may feel that you have not been included in the decision or that your input has not been valued. Men in your situation often relate feeling a sense of powerlessness, shame and not knowing what is expected of them.
Adoption is one choice if neither parent feels he or she will be able to meet the child’s emotional, social, physical, or financial needs but still desires a way to ensure that the child’s future needs will be met. We have provided answers to questions you may have about the adoption process.
My partner is pregnant and is considering adoption. Do I have a choice in the matter?
If she chooses adoption your choices are:
- Support her in her decision and be involved in the process
- Support her in her decision and cooperate but not take an active role
- Allow the court to make the decision and have your rights terminated by the court
- Choose not to cooperate with the adoption plan and attempt to establish parental rights and parent the child.
If she chooses to parent, you should consult with an attorney about your legal rights and responsibilities.
If I support her decision for adoption, how would I be involved in the process?
Every state has a different process for involving the birth father in the legal process of adoption. Adoption agencies and attorneys are required to follow certain procedures to ensure that the laws of your state are followed regarding the father’s rights. It is in your best interest to seek the advice of an adoption professional and/or attorney about the laws of your state.
The birth father can choose to be actively involved in counseling and making decisions regarding the adoption plan, along with the birth mother. Your involvement in the adoption plan and the health and social information that you provide is crucial to your child’s future health and well being.
Will my child ever get to know me if my partner and I choose adoption?
That’s up to you. It all depends on the level of openness that you decide upon. The level of openness can vary greatly from a closed or confidential to an open or fully disclosed adoption. Many fall somewhere in between, which is often called a semi-open or mediated adoption. The birth father and birth mother may choose different adoption plans.
What is a Putative Father Registry?
This is a public registry, usually administered by a state’s Department of Vital Records or Children’s Services, where an unmarried man who believes that he is the father of a child may register and claim to be the father of this child. In order to register, a father must also agree to become financially responsible for the care of the child. A putative father that has properly registered in the registry has the right to be notified of adoption-related hearings. Check your state’s website for more information.
The Terminology of Paternity:
Birth Father: the man with whom the woman conceives a child; may also be referred to as the biological father.
Putative or Presumed Father: a man who may be a child’s father, but who was not married to the child’s mother before the child was born and has not established that he is the father in a court proceeding.
Legal Father: a man who is married to the birth mother at the time of conception or birth and who must consent to the adoption even if he is not the biological father. The adoption agency usually will provide notice to him about the adoption as well (although his consent may not be necessary, depending upon your state’s laws)
